2006-10-09 1:29 a.m.
i don't like dane cook
i don't like dane cook
i don't like dane cook. he's not funny.
i have this fantasy in which i'm riding shotgun in a trashy car that pulls alongside his at a stoplight. who knows, maybe it's near Benito's on Santa Monica.
I see him and frantically motion for him to roll down his window.
He's with other similar Dane-Cook-ish dudes (they have hair that is perfectly coiffed in a way that makes them look like they just woke up but you can tell that they paid someone to make them look that way), and they see me and laugh, and are like, "OMG that fat girl loves you, roll down your window and see what she says."
When he rolls down his window, I say, "OH MY GOD ARE YOU DANE COOK?!!!??!!!"
"Yeah," he says, laughing in a Dane Cook self-love way, while his pals high five in the back seat.
"YOU'RE NOT FUNNY," I yell with an angry face, and I flip him off and then give him a righteous Flying V.
Off we screech in a roar of burnin' rubber, and then maybe we break down on a side street, but they don't see it because they're on their way to Beverly Hills and we're totally not.
The end.
